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Supervision Meeting of Eyyub Can Odacioglu

Supervision Meeting of Eyyub Can Odacioglu q5Da5
The two pie charts illustrate how different industry sectors contributed to the economy of Turkey percentagewise in the years 2000 and 2016. Overall, it’s clear that at the beginning of period construction contributed the least to the economy of Turkey, while agriculture was the most significant sector of Turkey. In comparison at the end of period health and education became the largest economic segment and the lowest contribution was made by finance, business and other services. Construction sector accounted for %3 of Turkey’s economy in 2000 and experienced more than threefold increased to one-tenth of period in 2016. Although manufacturing was %8 in 2000, slightly rose to %12 in 2016. At the beginning of the period, economic income from trade, utilities and transportation and finance, business and other made up % 14 and %5 of the Turkey’s economy respectively, and these figures growth to %16 and %8 in 2016. Agriculture which comprised almost a quarter of Turkey’s economy in 2000, fell to %14 in 2016. In 2000, economic outputs from government and leisure and hospitality were at %12 and %17 respectively, both decreased by %3 after 16-year period. In contrast, contribution from health and education steady remained in %17 throughout 16-year period.
The two pie charts illustrate how
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different
industry sectors contributed to the
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economy
of Turkey
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percentagewise
in the years 2000 and 2016.

Overall
, it’s
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clear
that at the beginning of
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period
construction contributed the least to the
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economy
of Turkey, while agriculture was the most significant sector of Turkey. In
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comparison
at the
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end
of
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period
health and education became the largest economic segment and the lowest contribution
was made
by finance, business and other services.

Construction sector accounted for %3 of Turkey’s
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economy
in 2000 and experienced more than threefold increased to one-tenth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
in 2016. Although manufacturing was %8 in 2000,
slightly
rose to %12 in 2016. At the beginning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, economic income from trade, utilities and transportation and finance, business and other made up % 14 and %5 of the Turkey’s
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economy
respectively
, and these
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figures
growth to %16 and %8 in 2016.

Agriculture which comprised almost a quarter of Turkey’s
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economy
in 2000, fell to %14 in 2016. In 2000, economic outputs from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and leisure and hospitality were at %12 and %17
respectively
, both decreased by %3 after 16-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
.
In contrast
, contribution from health and education steady remained in %17 throughout 16-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
.
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IELTS academic Supervision Meeting of Eyyub Can Odacioglu

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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