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International student enrolment

International student enrolment Vrn5K
The given line graph illustrates the information about enrolled students of Iranian, Greek and Turkish at Sheffield University from 2005 to 2009. The data is calibrated in numbers. Overall, it is vivid that the number of students who enrolled from Iran and Turkey showed an increasing trend throughout the graph whereas the count of Greece students experienced continuous decrease in the graph. From the graph, In 2005, the students enrolled from Iran accounted to be 40 and continuously raised till 2009 and reached at 160. The number of students who enrolled from Turkey stood at about 20 in 2005 and reached the figure of 120 in 2009. Moreover, the enrolment of students from Greece showed dramatically decrease throughout the entire period. In 2005, the student's count was around 180 and translated to be 40 in 2009.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line
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graph
illustrates the information about enrolled
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students
of Iranian, Greek and Turkish at Sheffield University from 2005 to 2009. The data
is calibrated
in numbers.
Overall
, it is vivid that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who enrolled from Iran and Turkey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an increasing trend throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
whereas the count of Greece
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
experienced continuous decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
. From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
, In 2005, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolled from Iran accounted to be 40 and
continuously
raised till 2009 and reached at 160. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who enrolled from Turkey stood at about 20 in 2005 and reached the figure of 120 in 2009.
Moreover
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
of
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students
from Greece
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
dramatically
decrease throughout the entire period. In 2005, the student's count was around 180 and translated to be 40 in 2009.
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IELTS academic International student enrolment

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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