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Summer and Winter Olympics

Summer and Winter Olympics 2xxBw
The given first bar chart shows data about the amount of medals which five countries have won in the summer Olympics, while the second bar chart demonstrate which nations have won the most medal in the summer Olympics. Overall, Norway has gained the most medals in the winter Olympics and winning approximately an equal gold, silver and bronze medals. USA has won the most medals in the summer Olympics. Norway has gained the number of medals is about 370 medals, however Canada has won approximately 200 medals in fifth countries. At the same time, in the summer Olympics, USA has won just over 2500 medals. Russia is the second highest, winning about 1800 medals, whereas France is the last among five countries with about 700 medals. In conclusion, the two bar chart illustrate how many medals won in the summer and the winter Olympics, which USA, Germany and Russia have won medals in both Olympics.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
first
bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
data about the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medals
which five countries have won in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
Olympics, while the second bar chart demonstrate which nations have won the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medal
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
Olympics.

Overall
, Norway has gained the most
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medals
in the winter Olympics and winning approximately an equal gold, silver and bronze
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medals
. USA has won the most
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medals
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
Olympics.

Norway has gained the number of
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medals
is about 370
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medals
,
however
Canada has won approximately 200
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medals
in fifth countries. At the same time, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
Olympics, USA has won
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just
over 2500
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medals
. Russia is the second highest, winning about 1800
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medals
, whereas France is the last among five countries with about 700 medals.

In conclusion
, the two bar chart illustrate how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medals
won in the
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summer
and the winter Olympics, which USA, Germany and Russia have won
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medals
in both Olympics.
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IELTS academic Summer and Winter Olympics

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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