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summarize information by writing an introduction, overview

summarize information by writing an introduction, overview bDxyW
The chart shows the amount of money which was spent on technology at EIU and VGU each year between 2013 and 2019. In general, both technology expenditure at EIU and VGU rose significantly over the given period. Looking at the bar chart in more detail, it is evident that technology expenditure at EIU remained relatively unchanged at approximately 9 million from 2013 to 2015. This figure then dropped dramatically to 6 million in 2016. From 2016 to the end of the period, there was a gradual increase in the expenditure on technology at EIU to around 11 million. Turning to the second data set, it can be clearly seen that there was a slight rise in the expenditure on technology at VGU from 8 million in 2013 to 10 million in 2014. Then, this figure declined sharply to 6 million in 2017. From 2017 to the end of the period, technology expenditure at VGU increased steadily to 10 million.
The chart
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shows
the amount of money which
was spent
on
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technology
at
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EIU
and
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VGU
each year between 2013 and 2019.

In general
, both
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technology
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expenditure
at
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EIU
and
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VGU
rose
significantly
over the
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given
period.

Looking at the bar chart in more detail, it is evident that
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technology
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expenditure
at
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EIU
remained
relatively
unchanged at approximately 9
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million
from 2013 to 2015. This figure then dropped
dramatically
to 6
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million
in 2016. From 2016 to the
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end
of the period, there was a gradual increase in the
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expenditure
on
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technology
at
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EIU
to around 11 million.

Turning to the second data set, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there was a slight rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
on
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technology
at
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VGU
from 8
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million
in 2013 to 10
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million
in 2014. Then, this figure declined
sharply
to 6
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million
in 2017. From 2017 to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period,
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technology
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expenditure
at
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VGU
increased
steadily
to 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
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IELTS academic summarize information by writing an introduction, overview

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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