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the garph shows the varying levels

the garph shows the varying levels l7Lk1
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of three levels of satisfaction with local leisure facilities when surveyed in Northern Ireland in 2010. From the graph, apparently, we can access the fact that the proportion of people who have a dissatisfied attitude toward leisure facilities took up a low rate over the period conducted. In detail, when comparing the percentage of satisfaction between art, sport, libraries and museums, we can easily realize that each leisure facility accounted for over a half percent in 2010. Besides, the percentage of people who were neither satisfied nor dissatisfied made up 26, 40, 37 and 38 percent respectively with art, sport, libraries, and museums. Lastly, the proportion of dissatisfied people toward these kinds of facilities was just a little percent, approximately under 10 percent.
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of three levels of satisfaction with local leisure facilities when surveyed in Northern Ireland in 2010. From the graph,
apparently
, we can access the fact that the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have a dissatisfied attitude toward leisure facilities took up a low rate over the period conducted.

In detail, when comparing the percentage of satisfaction between art, sport, libraries and museums, we can
easily
realize that each leisure facility accounted for over a half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2010.
Besides
, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were neither satisfied nor dissatisfied made up 26, 40, 37 and 38
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
respectively
with art, sport, libraries, and museums.
Lastly
, the proportion of dissatisfied
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
toward these kinds of facilities was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, approximately under 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.

IELTS academic the garph shows the varying levels

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
129 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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