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summarise the changes in the number of visitors using three major airports in New York city

summarise the changes in the number of visitors using three major airports in New York city ljqb9
The bar chart gives the figures of visitors who uses those major airports in New York in the period of 6 years from 1995 to 2000. In general, it can be clearly see that John F. Kennedy and LaGuardia had an upward trend. Except, Newark airport pluctuate. Between 1995 to 1997, as we can see, 3 this airports all had an increased. There was a slightly rise in the number of passengers of LaGuardia airport. John F. Kennedy aiport wetn up impressively from over 25 millions visitors to almost 50 millions people. Also, Newark airport climbed dramatically yoo, from more than 15 millions to nearly 40 millions. In the last 3 years, it can be seen, LaGuardia aiport had a sharply improve from about 47 millions to 69 million traveller. John F. kennedy decreased slight, from 48 millions in 1997 to 31 millions in 1999; however, it continued rise to 42 millions. The was no change from the number of passengers of Newark city from 1998 to 2000
The bar chart gives the figures of visitors who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
those major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airports
in New York in the period of 6 years from 1995 to 2000.

In general
, it can be
clearly
Consider using a past participle here: "seen".
see
that John F. Kennedy and LaGuardia had an upward trend. Except, Newark
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airport
Possible spelling mistake found.
pluctuate
.

Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "Between 1995 and 1997".
Between 1995 to 1997
, as we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, 3
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airports
all had an increased. There was a
You used an adverb ('slightly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('rise') instead of another adjective.
slightly rise
in the number of passengers of LaGuardia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airport
. John F. Kennedy
Possible spelling mistake found.
aiport
Possible spelling mistake found.
wetn
up
impressively
from over 25
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millions
visitors to almost 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Also
, Newark
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airport
climbed
dramatically
Possible spelling mistake found.
yoo
, from more than 15
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millions
to
nearly
40 millions.

In the last 3 years, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, LaGuardia
Possible spelling mistake found.
aiport
had a
sharply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
from about 47
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
to 69
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'traveller' seems to be countable, so consider using: "travellers".
traveller
. John F.
Possible spelling mistake found.
kennedy
decreased slight, from 48
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millions
in 1997 to 31
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millions
in 1999;
however
, it continued rise to 42
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
. The was no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from the number of passengers of Newark city from 1998 to 2000
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IELTS academic summarise the changes in the number of visitors using three major airports in New York city

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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