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Studying the historical evidence via technology

Studying the historical evidence via technology jVGby
First of all, the inspiration for this paper is from one of the subjects in our classroom that we called “Module” in Grade 10. We had traveled to many temples in Chiang Mai to explain how the Lanna people in the past built their center community such as temples. A large number of religious places are related to its orientation. After we had explored and kept some of the important data we use the Stellarium program to explain how people can predict and prescribe the season for agriculture or prescription of a Lunar calendar. The reason why we chose this program for studying is that it’s easy to simulate the sky in the past regardless of the weather. Stellarium is a program for studying astronomy in present and in the historical time by simulating the sky and you can choose the sky objects which you want to know more about it. The knowledge at that time, it was hard to understand to predict the season for rice planting accurately and correctly because if philosophers had prescribe the calendar for agriculture incorrectly, it was a huge hunger problem for people in the village. One of the old pieces from our predecessors is the 13DMFM which stands for 13-Dark Moon impending 13-Full Moon (13 Dub Bung Kub 13 Pen) which is one of the good knowledge in that period about many of astronomical phenomena for example vernal equinox, summer solstice, autumnal equinox, and winter solstice however in this manuscript we aim to summer solstice and winter solstice. The main concept of it is if there was a New Moon before winter solstice no longer than 11 days, this New Moon day would be the 13th, signaling the following year would be an Adhikamas year with 13 full moon. Because of studying in historical time, it’s hard to know what reality is. So, we have used Stellarium to prove the evidence from ancient Lanna people via Stellarium program.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the inspiration for this paper is from one of the subjects in our classroom that we called “Module” in Grade 10. We had traveled to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
temples in Chiang Mai to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lanna
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past built their center community such as temples.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
religious places
are related
to its orientation. After we had explored and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
data we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stellarium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can predict and prescribe the season for agriculture or prescription of a Lunar calendar. The reason why we chose this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
for studying is that it’s easy to simulate the sky in the past regardless of the weather.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stellarium
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
for studying astronomy in present and in the historical time by simulating the sky and you can choose the sky objects which you want to know more about it. The knowledge at that time, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
The verb 'understand' is used with the gerund form: "understand predicting".
understand to predict
the season for rice planting
accurately
and
correctly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if philosophers had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "prescribed".
prescribe
the calendar for agriculture
incorrectly
, it was a huge hunger problem for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the village.

One of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
pieces from our predecessors is the 13DMFM which stands for 13-Dark Moon impending 13-Full Moon (13 Dub Bung
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kub
13 Pen) which is one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge in that period about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of astronomical phenomena
for example
vernal equinox, summer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solstice
, autumnal equinox, and winter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solstice
however
in this manuscript we aim to summer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solstice
and winter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solstice
. The main concept of it is if there was a New Moon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
winter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solstice
no longer than 11 days, this New Moon day would be the 13th, signaling the following year would be an
Possible spelling mistake found.
Adhikamas
year with 13 full
Possible agreement error. The noun 'moon' seems to be countable, so consider using: "moons".
moon
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of studying in historical time, it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to know what reality is.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stellarium
to prove the evidence from ancient
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lanna
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
via
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stellarium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
.
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IELTS academic Studying the historical evidence via technology

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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