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the char show information about global seles video games, DVD and CDs .

the char show information about global seles video games, DVD and CDs. eA9wx
the bar chart illustrates the global report according to changes in different seling products over 2000 to 2003. overall, It can be seen from given chart data that, CD products shelling has a constant over the period conversely Games software and DVD items has cntinuousaly increased over the given duration. According to games software, it's selling began with aproximately 15 percentage for 2000 but after that period it is continuously rose step by step, in 2001, it has roughly 20 % but in 2002, it has slightly jumpd at 27 percentage and end of the year 2003 reached 33%. on the others hand, DVD electronic equipment has constantly increasing but it has stayed between 10 % to 20%. in 2000, it has 12 % but 2001 it has marginaly rose 13 %. but between 2002 to 2003, it has increased respectively 16 % and 18%. Regard with CDs, it has constant over the 3 year, avarage aproximately 32%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
bar chart illustrates the global report according to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
seling
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
2000 to 2003.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart data that, CD products shelling has a constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the period
conversely
Games software and DVD items has
Possible spelling mistake found.
cntinuousaly
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
duration.

According to games software, it's selling began with
Possible spelling mistake found.
aproximately
15 percentage for 2000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after that period it is
continuously
Consider using a past participle here: "risen".
rose
step by step, in 2001, it has roughly 20 %
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2002, it has
slightly
Possible spelling mistake found.
jumpd
at 27 percentage and
Possible agreement error. The noun 'end' seems to be countable, so consider using: "ends".
end
of the year 2003 reached 33%.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the others hand, DVD electronic equipment has
constantly
increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has stayed between 10 % to 20%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
2000, it has 12 %
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
2001 it has
Possible spelling mistake found.
marginaly
rose 13 %.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2002 and 2003".
between 2002 to 2003
, it has increased
respectively
16 % and 18%. Regard with CDs, it has constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the 3 year,
Possible spelling mistake found.
avarage
Possible spelling mistake found.
aproximately
32%.
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IELTS academic the char show information about global seles video games, DVD and CDs.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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