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students studied French and Mandarin

students studied French and Mandarin x8WB6
The graph illustrates how many 13-year-old students studied French and Mandarin between 2000 and the present day in a school in England. Overall, Mandarin has increased considerably in popularity during the time. On the contrary, the trend for French is the opposite. Looking at the details, in 2000, the number of pupils who took French was about 150, compared to just under 10 students who chose Mandarin, so there was a significant difference in numbers at this period. Over the next five years, the figure plunged for French, but rose dramatically for Mandarin and reached a peak at approximately 75 students in 2005. After 2005, the trend have not change too much. French gained some popularity in 2006 but has remained fairly stable since then at about 90 students. In contrast, the number of students taking Mandarin dipped in 2006 and slightly fluctuated in some subsequent years, before it returned to 75 students. At the present time, French is the most popular language option.
The graph illustrates how
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many
13-year-
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old
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students
studied French and Mandarin between 2000 and the present day in a school in England.

Overall
, Mandarin has increased
considerably
in popularity during the time.
On the contrary
, the trend for French is the opposite.

Looking at the
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details
, in 2000, the number of pupils who took French was about 150, compared to
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just
under 10
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students
who chose Mandarin,
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so
there was a significant difference in numbers at this period. Over the
next
five years, the figure plunged for French,
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but
rose
dramatically
for Mandarin and reached a peak at approximately 75
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students
in 2005.

After 2005, the trend have not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "changed".
change
too much. French gained
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some
popularity in 2006
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but
has remained
fairly
stable since then at about 90
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students
.
In contrast
, the number of
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students
taking Mandarin dipped in 2006 and
slightly
fluctuated in
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some
subsequent years,
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before
it returned to 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. At the present time, French is the most popular language option.

IELTS academic students studied French and Mandarin

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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