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student enrollment in Australian universities

student enrollment in Australian universities eeB0B
"Education is the most powerful tool which one can you to change the world", said Nelson Mendela. Moreover, a repute of the university can be judged by its growth in applicants and admissions. A reputed university creates more opportunities to enroll and engage maximum students. According to details given in the graph, it can be seen that over the span of 10 years, the number of international applicants are linearly increased along with the commencing students which clearly state that the university's repute is enhanced in international community and skill seekers. The graph of local students illustrate that the growth reached to its saturation point in 2007. The total number of local students is stable on a certain level. It could be result of any of the reasons from personal or professional interests. It seems that the Australian universities have failed to encourage the local students to purse their academic career from them. This is an alarming situation and should be dealt by taking proper measures.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Education is the most powerful tool which one can you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the world
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, said Nelson
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mendela
.
Moreover
, a repute of the university can
be judged
by its growth in applicants and admissions. A reputed university creates more opportunities to enroll and engage maximum students.

According to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the graph, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that over the span of 10 years, the number of international applicants are
linearly
increased along with the commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which
clearly
state that the university's repute
is enhanced
in international community and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
seekers.

The graph of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
illustrate that the growth reached to its saturation point in 2007. The total number of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is stable on a certain level. It could be result
Consider simply using "of" instead.
of any of
the reasons from personal or professional interests. It seems that the Australian universities have failed to encourage the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to purse their academic career from them. This is an alarming situation and should
be dealt
by taking proper measures.
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IELTS academic student enrollment in Australian universities

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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