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Destination of undergraduates

Destination of undergraduates eeBlW
The pie chart provides information regarding the position of anthropology graduates who completed their undergraduate program from university and the table depicts salary range of graduates after 5 years in three categories. Overall, Trend of destination of anthropology graduates showed that half of undergraduates joined full time job and after 5 years half of graduates who joined as government employee earned more than $10000. In terms of destination about 52% undergraduate joined in full time job. By following part-time Work which was 15% and 12 % graduates Were remained unemployed. 13% graduates were associated in full time post gradates study and part-time+postgraduate study. Regarding salaries of graduates, up to 3 years the ratio of employees and salary range in freelance consultants and government remained same (&25000 to $74000). The employment in private company 15% increased from 2nd year to 3rd year. In the 5th year, the Salary of all sectors were more &100000, in which 50% government sector, 40% and 30% for freelance consultant and private company respectively.
The pie chart provides information regarding the position of anthropology
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graduates
who completed their undergraduate program from university and the table depicts
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salary
range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
after 5 years in three categories.

Overall
, Trend of destination of anthropology
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graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that half of undergraduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
full time job and after 5 years half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
employee earned more than $10000.

In terms of destination about 52% undergraduate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
in full time job. By following part-time Work which was 15%

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
12 %
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graduates
Were remained
unemployed. 13%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
were associated
in full time post gradates study and part-time+postgraduate study.

Regarding
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salaries
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
, up to 3 years the ratio of employees and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
range in freelance consultants and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
remained same (&25000 to $74000). The employment in private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
15% increased from 2nd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to 3rd year.

In the 5th
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year
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Salary
of all sectors were more &100000, in which 50%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
sector, 40% and 30% for freelance consultant and private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
respectively
.
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IELTS academic Destination of undergraduates

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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