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Sports played in New Zealand in 2002

Sports played in New Zealand in 2002 Wy21b
The bar chart shows different kinds of sport played in New Zealand  in 2002. The data varies between girls and boys. The vertical axis depicts kinds of sports, whereas the horizontal one-percentages. Overall, we can see from the chart that sports were not very popular with girls. Meanwhile, the boys took the leading position in  almost all kinds of sports shown. In 2002, the highest proportion in netball was made up by girls at 25% and the boys made the least, at about 2%.  Swimming was also more popular among girls than boys, at about 23% and 13% respectively. Athletics was done by almost the same proportion of boys and girls, at about 4% and 5% respectively. In soccer boys outnumbered girls about 25% to 5%. There was also a big difference in cricket between boys and girls, at about 10% and 2% respectively. Martial arts and other sports were also more popular among boys than girls (10% and 3%, about 18% and 10% respectively).
The bar chart
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shows
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different
kinds of
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sport
played in New Zealand
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
in 2002. The data varies between
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girls
and
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boys
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
vertical axis depicts kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, whereas the horizontal one-percentages.

Overall
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the chart that sports were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
took the leading position in
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
almost all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
shown.

In 2002, the highest proportion in netball
was made
up by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
at 25% and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
made the least, at about 2%.  Swimming was
also
more popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
, at about 23% and 13%
respectively
.

Athletics
was done
by almost the same proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
, at about 4% and 5%
respectively
.

In soccer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
outnumbered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
about 25% to 5%. There was
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference in cricket between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
, at about 10% and 2%
respectively
. Martial arts and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
were
also
more popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
(10% and 3%, about 18% and 10%
respectively
).
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IELTS academic Sports played in New Zealand in 2002

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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