Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Cambridge IELTS book 14, test 1, writing task 1

Cambridge IELTS book 14, test 1, writing task 1 yXj5P
the pie charts indicate average percentage of sodium, saturated fat and added sugar consumption of USA during snack, breakfast and lunch at  dinner. it is clear that  sodium consumption is  determinanting  at  dinner  which may harmful for health also. if we summarise the information given in the pie charts it is clear that average  consumption of sodium  in  dinner  is 43% a typical meal of  USA which is highest. lowest  consumption of sodium at snack which is only 14percent.   on the other hand average consumption of added sugar dominates at snack. the lowest consumption of added sugar is at lunch which is 19 %. at dinner the consumption of added sugar  23%. in addition to that average consumption of saturated fat in typical meal in USA is little bit balanced.   at Dinar they used to   take 37 percentage ok saturated fat whereas they consume 16% of  saturated fat at breakfast. added sugar consumption of their everyday meal also  imbalance they used to eat 42% added sugar in there snacks which is highest consumption of added sugar whereas  only 16 person at breakfast. in comparison to at breakfast sodium, saturated fat and added sugar near about 14% 16% 16% consecutively. however  sodium at dinner and added sugar consumption at snacks are high and my note be healthy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
pie charts indicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
percentage of sodium,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snack
, breakfast and lunch at
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
sodium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
is
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Possible spelling mistake found.
determinanting
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
at
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
dinner
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
which may harmful for health
also
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
we
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
the information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the pie charts it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that average
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of sodium
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
in
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
dinner
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
is 43% a typical meal
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of  USA
which is highest.
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of sodium at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snack
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
14percent.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
dominates at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snack
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is at lunch which is 19 %.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
sugar
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
23%.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
in typical meal
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
is
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
balanced.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
at
The comma is probably missing here: "Dinar, they".
Dinar they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
  
take 37 percentage ok
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
whereas they consume 16% of
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
at breakfast.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of their everyday meal
also
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
imbalance they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to eat 42%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in
Did you mean "their"?
there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
which is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
whereas
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
16
Possible agreement error. The noun 'person' seems to be countable, so consider using: "people", "persons".
person
at breakfast.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
comparison to at breakfast sodium,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
near about 14%
Possible typo: you repeated a word
16% 16%
consecutively
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
sodium at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
are high and my note be healthy.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic Cambridge IELTS book 14, test 1, writing task 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    Look at the data description task below. Then, write or type your answers to the planning questions that follow
    The information presented in the paragraph and the bar chart informs of the number of visitors in millions for three museums per year from 2000 to 2005. Overall, all the museum’s visitor numbers fluctuated except the figures of The National Museum in China were gradually increasing year on year. Tur...
  • 6band
    the percantage of household who owned and rented the house
    The graph provides information about the number of families who rented the house and bought it for themselves in England along with Wales from 1918 to 2011. Overall, the trend for people who owned the accommodation was upward while for the public who rented it went down during this period of time.  ...
  • 6band
    the plan for public park then and now
    The pictorial diagram elicits the structure of grange park in 1920 and its transformation this days. To commence with, the year 1920, there was a fountain in the middle of the park and beside this there is a stage for musicians There are two entry point, and three rose garden at different position....
  • 6band
    plan of park then and now
    The pictorial diagram elicits the structure of grange park in 1920 and its transformation this days. To commence with, the year 1920, there was a fountain in the middle of the park and beside this there is a stage for musicians There are two entry point, and three rose garden at different position....
  • 5.5band
    MANY STUDENTSFIND IT DIFFICULT TO PAY ATTENTION AT SCHOOLWHAT ARE THE REASONS FOR THIS? WHAT COULD BE DONE TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM?
    Numerous pupils feel immense hard to concentrate on school. as hectic class schedule make them tired this reduces their ability to focus on lessons. this essay elucidates the varied causes for the difficulties and the remedies for solving this problem. Some child psychologist opines that the contin...
  • 6band
    The table chart shows female work as employee and manage in 5 countries?
    the provided tabular chart illustrate how many females worked as employee as well as manager in five different nations such as Australia, Egypt, Sri Lankan, Japan and United States. Overall, it is vivid that there was highest proportion of women worker in United States. Whereas, the least percentage...





Get more results for topic:
  • Cambridge IELTS book 14, test 1, writing task 1