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SOME PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THAT CURRENTLY WE HAVE EXCESSIVE OPTIONS

SOME PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THAT CURRENTLY WE HAVE EXCESSIVE OPTIONS Ywa9B
NOWADAYS, THE MODERN LIFE AND MODERN TECHNOLOGY HAVE BEEN DEVELOPED AND INVENTED TO SUPPORT PEOPLE’S DEMAND SATISFACTION TO GET THE MOST BENEFIT AND CONVENIENCE FOR LIVING. THE RESULT OF THIS ACTION CAUSES PEOPLE TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE THAN BEFORE IN ANY WAY AND CAN CHOOSE THE PATH OF LIFE BY THEMSELVES. PEOPLE’S BEHAVIOR FOR LIVING ARE SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT FROM THE PAST BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE MORE CHOICE TO CHOOSE AND OPTIONS IN MANY WAYS SUCH AS STUDYING, WORKING LIFE AND DOING ACTIVITIES. FROM THESE FACTORS AND REASONS CAN SUPPORT PEOPLE TO ACCESS THE ACTIVTIES AND HAVE CONVENIENCE TO USE THE LIFE. THEREFORE, PEOPLE’S BEHAVIOR CHANGES RAPIDLY BECAUSE THE MODERN TECHNOLOGY HAS BEEN USING IN GENERAL. IN MY POINT OF VIEW, I STRONGLY DISAGREE WITH SOME PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THAT CURRENTLY WE HAVE EXCESSIVE OPTIONS. FOR INSTANCE, THE PUBLIC TRANSPORTLATION IN THE CITY SUCH AS IN THAILAND WE HAVE ONLY MRT OR BTS WHICH IS HIGH-PRICES WHICH IS NOT RELATED TO PEOPLE’S INCOME, FINANCIAL STATUS, FEE, HOUSE EXPENSES AND DOMESTIC ECONOMIC SYSTEM. WHILE THE COUNTRYSIDE IN THAILAND, THERE IS JUST HAVE ONLY THE BUS THAT IS HAVE TO WAIT FOR 2-3 HOURS FROM THESE METHODS CAUSE THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN COUNTRYSIDE HARD TO GO OUTSIDE. MOREOVER, THEY NEED TO PURCHASE THEIR OWNERCAR IT WILL IMPACT TO THE TRAFFIC JAM IN THE FUTURE ALSO ACTTRACT TO THE AIR POLLUTION. ON THE OTHER HAND, THE TECHNOLOGY THAT HAS BEEN INVENTED AND DEVELOPED IN NOWADAYS MAKES PEOPLE MORE COMFORTABLE AND HAPPIER MORE THAN IN THE PAST. IN SHORT, THE MODERN LIFE AND THE MODERN TECHNOLOGY ARE SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT FROM THE PAST. THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD ENCOURAGE AND SUPPORT PEOPLE IN OTHER WAYS AND DEVELOP AND INVENTED IN EVERY PART BOTH OF CITY AND COUNTRYSIDE. PEOPLE SHOULD CAREFULLY CONCERN AND COSIDER WHEN PLAN ABOUT THEIR LIFE.
NOWADAYS, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MODERN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MODERN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TECHNOLOGY
HAVE
BEEN DEVELOPED
AND INVENTED TO SUPPORT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE’S
DEMAND SATISFACTION TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
THE MOST BENEFIT AND CONVENIENCE FOR LIVING. THE RESULT OF THIS ACTION CAUSES
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TO HAVE A BETTER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
THAN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BEFORE
IN ANY WAY AND CAN CHOOSE THE PATH OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
BY THEMSELVES.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
’S BEHAVIOR FOR LIVING ARE
SIGNIFICANTLY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DIFFERENT
FROM THE PAST
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
HAVE MORE CHOICE TO CHOOSE AND OPTIONS IN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
WAYS SUCH AS STUDYING, WORKING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
AND DOING ACTIVITIES. FROM THESE FACTORS AND REASONS CAN SUPPORT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TO ACCESS THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
ACTIVTIES
AND HAVE CONVENIENCE TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
.
THEREFORE
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE’S
BEHAVIOR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CHANGES
RAPIDLY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MODERN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TECHNOLOGY
HAS BEEN USING
IN GENERAL
.

IN MY POINT OF VIEW, I
STRONGLY
DISAGREE WITH
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
WHO BELIEVE THAT
CURRENTLY
WE HAVE EXCESSIVE OPTIONS.
FOR INSTANCE
, THE PUBLIC
Possible spelling mistake found.
TRANSPORTLATION
IN THE CITY SUCH AS IN THAILAND WE HAVE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
MRT OR BTS WHICH IS HIGH-PRICES WHICH IS NOT RELATED TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE’S
INCOME, FINANCIAL STATUS, FEE,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HOUSE
EXPENSES AND DOMESTIC ECONOMIC SYSTEM. WHILE THE COUNTRYSIDE IN THAILAND, THERE IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
JUST
HAVE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
THE BUS
THAT IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
HAVE TO
WAIT FOR 2-3 HOURS FROM THESE METHODS CAUSE THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
WHO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVE
IN COUNTRYSIDE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HARD
TO GO OUTSIDE.
MOREOVER
, THEY NEED TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PURCHASE
THEIR
Possible spelling mistake found.
OWNERCAR
IT WILL IMPACT TO THE TRAFFIC JAM IN THE FUTURE
ALSO
Possible spelling mistake found.
ACTTRACT
TO THE AIR POLLUTION.
ON THE OTHER HAND
, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TECHNOLOGY
THAT HAS
BEEN INVENTED
AND DEVELOPED
NOWADAYS is used without 'in'. Use simply: "NOWADAYS".
IN NOWADAYS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKES
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
MORE COMFORTABLE AND HAPPIER MORE THAN IN THE PAST.

IN SHORT, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MODERN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
AND THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
MODERN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TECHNOLOGY
ARE
SIGNIFICANTLY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DIFFERENT
FROM THE PAST. THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOVERNMENT
SHOULD ENCOURAGE AND SUPPORT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
IN OTHER WAYS AND DEVELOP AND INVENTED IN EVERY PART BOTH OF CITY AND COUNTRYSIDE.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
SHOULD
CAREFULLY
CONCERN AND
Possible spelling mistake found.
COSIDER
WHEN PLAN ABOUT THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
.
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IELTS academic SOME PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THAT CURRENTLY WE HAVE EXCESSIVE OPTIONS

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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