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Some people say that economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty in the world .others say that economic growth should be stopped immediately to stop damaging the environment .discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people say that economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty in the world. others say that economic growth should be stopped immediately to stop damaging the environment. discuss both sides and give your opinion JpVB
In the salad day of millenium, the society is polarised into two graphs almost equal regarding the notion that poverty is major problem which is facing the world today. The economic development is only way to decrease it, however, other would argue that economic development is harmful to nature and it should stop. The following paragraph would shed light on both the approaches before making a final sheet. To commence with the first notion, there are myriad things to be shared in its favour. First and foremost, government need to establish industries which help to overcome the poverty. It will create more job opportunities for unemployed and poor people. Thus, if people get employed definitely they would be fulfilled their basic needs. This way of economic development can help to fight with poverty. Secondly, if country economy developed then government should able to provide free medical service which directly reduce the poverty and it will makes better life quality of individuals. Shifting towards the second School of thought, economic development also effect on environment. If country build many new industries to provide job opportunities to poor people, but the emission of industries can harm the environment. moreover, if government has provide free accommodation to needy people then amount of land will reduce and deforestation takes place in environment as a big issue. To recapitulate, although economic development is very essential to reduce poverty but the adverse effect of economic growth can be affected the environment. So, I think government should find more measures to solve the problem of poverty.
In the salad day of
Possible spelling mistake found.
millenium
, the society is
Possible spelling mistake. 'polarised' is British English.
polarised
into two graphs almost equal regarding the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is major problem which is facing the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a only".
only
way to decrease it,
however
, other would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is harmful to nature and it should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
. The following paragraph would shed light on both the approaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a final sheet. To commence with the
first
notion, there are myriad things to
be shared
in its
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
need to establish industries which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. It will create more job opportunities for unemployed and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employed definitely they would
be fulfilled
their basic needs. This way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to fight with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
Secondly
, if country economy developed then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
Did you mean "should be able"?
should able
to provide free medical service which
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "make"
makes
better life quality of individuals. Shifting towards the second School of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
also
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. If country build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new industries to provide job opportunities to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the emission of industries can harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has
Use past participle here: "provided".
provide
free accommodation to needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
then amount of land will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
and deforestation takes place in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue. To recapitulate, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the adverse effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should find more measures to solve the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
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IELTS academic Some people say that economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty in the world. others say that economic growth should be stopped immediately to stop damaging the environment. discuss both sides and give your opinion

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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