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Some people believe that women should not be allowed into the army.Do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that women should not be allowed into the army. ewK2G
It is generally suggested that, the females should play an important in the national police forces or amry rather than man while others think that womens are not perfect for these types of jobs. I completely disagree with this suggestion due to many reasons. I will discuss views in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, there are number of factors why I disagree with this above given statement. First of all, in this modern world, everyone is getting equal rights and skills trainings which is not depend on the gender then women can participate into army. They can select their career and complete their future aim. Apart from this, women are mentally and physically strong. They did face several problems in their life but they have to solve problems by themselves without any help of person. They can participate sports like boxing and weight lifting with the help of their strength level. They can easily survive in army. Females have more capacity to feel the pain and the emotions than the man. Moreover, ladies are getting good knowledge and the updates regarding the social changes. There are alot of work depend on the computer. So, womens are expert in the use of computer then they use many equipment during wars like, airplane and army tank. For example, if talk about in India there are majority of women's do job in the air forces and navy without any difficulty and properly take care of their family members. Therefore, women should allowed into the army. In conclusion, there are amount of factors why women's should play an vital role in army. like, emotional handlings, physical strong by understanding their power.
It is
generally
suggested that, the females should play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in the national police forces or
Possible spelling mistake found.
amry
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
womens
are not perfect for these types of jobs. I completely disagree with this suggestion due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons. I will discuss views in the upcoming paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are number of factors why I disagree with this above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in this modern world, everyone is getting equal rights and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
trainings which is not
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on the gender then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can participate into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
army
. They can select their career and complete their future aim. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are mentally and
physically
strong. They did face several problems in their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
solve problems by themselves without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of person. They can participate sports like boxing and weight lifting with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of their strength level.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
can
easily
survive in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
army
. Females have more capacity to feel the pain and the emotions than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
Moreover
, ladies are getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge and the updates regarding the social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. There
Possible spelling mistake found.
are alot
of work depend on the computer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
womens
are expert in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible agreement error. The noun equipment seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much equipment", "a good deal of equipment".
many equipment
during wars like, airplane and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
army
tank.
For example
, if talk about in India there are
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
women's do job in the air forces and navy without any difficulty and
properly
take care of their family members.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "allow"
allowed
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
army
.
In conclusion
, there are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "amounts"?
amount
of factors why women's should play
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
vital role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
army
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
like
, emotional
Possible spelling mistake found.
handlings
, physical strong by understanding their power.
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IELTS academic Some people believe that women should not be allowed into the army.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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