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the proportion of individuals

the proportion of individuals X72Qq
The charts depicts the proportion of individuals each family in the UK between 1981 and 2001. Overall, the figures tell us all kinds of household experienced decreases over the period surveyed. The opposite was true for family with 2 or just one person. Another notable feature is that household with 6 person had faster decline than any other kind of family. In 1981, the highest ratio of household belonged to family with 2 individuals with 31%, which was approximately two times as high as that of one people. The respective figures for 1 and 4 person were drastically, with 18% and 20% respectively, whereas household with 6 person occupied least with just merely 6%. Over the following 20 years, the highest rate of downward trend belonged to household with 6 person, being the bottom proportion of the whole table. Similarly, household with 5 and 4 person declined in its occupied, at 6% and 15% respectively. In addition, family with 3 person witnessed a slight decrease over the period, household with one or 2 individuals were exceptions which climbed considerably at merely 34% and 26% respectively.
The charts
You should probably use "depict".
depicts
the proportion of individuals each
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family
in the UK between 1981 and 2001.

Overall
, the figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us all kinds of
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household
experienced decreases over the period surveyed. The opposite was true for
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family
with 2 or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one
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person
. Another notable feature is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
with 6
Possible agreement error. The noun 'person' seems to be countable, so consider using: "people", "persons".
person
had faster decline than any other kind of family.

In 1981, the highest ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
belonged to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with 2 individuals with 31%, which was approximately two times as high as that of one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The respective figures for 1 and 4
Possible agreement error. The noun 'person' seems to be countable, so consider using: "people", "persons".
person
were
drastically
, with 18% and 20%
respectively
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
with 6
Possible agreement error. The noun 'person' seems to be countable, so consider using: "people", "persons".
person
occupied least with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
merely
6%.

Over the following 20 years, the highest rate of downward trend belonged to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
with 6
Possible agreement error. The noun 'person' seems to be countable, so consider using: "people", "persons".
person
, being the bottom proportion of the whole table.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
with 5 and 4
Possible agreement error. The noun 'person' seems to be countable, so consider using: "people", "persons".
person
declined in its occupied, at 6% and 15%
respectively
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with 3
Possible agreement error. The noun 'person' seems to be countable, so consider using: "people", "persons".
person
witnessed a slight decrease over the period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
with one or 2 individuals were exceptions which climbed
considerably
at
merely
34% and 26%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic the proportion of individuals

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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