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sector contribution to India

sector contribution to India 8LaWk
The bar chart illustrates the sector contributions and makes us to see the differences between the sectors for 40 years. In this case, each sector has shown by various colors. First, the sector of agriculture can be the one which mentions first. The most dramatic thing we can focus on is the decreasing more by the time. For instance, between 1960-1970 the gap is approximately 10 but between 1980-1990 it is more than 10. On another hand, the other sector that is industry increases by the time, , but this increasing seems to be disappeared between 1990-2000. However, the other data we can take from this chart is the industry has the least contribution except 2000. In this year, it is 2000, the least contribution comes from agriculture. Lastly, the sector we had not mentioned yet is services. It seems to be the most increased sector in time. It has different amount of increasing and specifically, between 1980-1990 and 1990-2000 has extreme increasing. This sector has wide spreading parts in the chart. Consequently, all the sectors have different tend and this is the reason of the varioution.
The bar chart illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
contributions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the differences between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
for 40 years.
In this case
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
has shown by various colors.

First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
of agriculture can be the one which mentions
first
. The most dramatic thing we can focus on is the decreasing more by the time.
For instance
, between 1960-1970 the gap is approximately 10
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
between 1980-1990 it is more than 10.

On another hand, the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
that is
industry increases by the time,
Two consecutive commas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this increasing seems to
be disappeared
between 1990-2000.
However
, the other data we can take from this chart is the industry has the least contribution except 2000. In this year, it is 2000, the least contribution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from agriculture.

Lastly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
we had not mentioned
yet
is services. It seems to be the most increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
in time. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
amount of increasing and
specifically
, between 1980-1990 and 1990-2000 has extreme increasing. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
has wide spreading parts in the chart.

Consequently
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tend and this is the reason of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
varioution
.
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IELTS academic sector contribution to India

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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