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Secondary school vicinity

Secondary school vicinity 738rb
The picture illustrates the modifications in the construction that took place over the past 25 years. The major change that happened was with the houses near the secondary school and later with the farmland and the sports field. School, main road, and the Playground had no movement and they were kept intact. In 1950, the secondary school vicinity had houses, an agricultural area, and a ground for the kids to play. Almost all the four components occupied the similar land proportions. But there was an upgrade in 1980 and it's quite evident that science has taken a boom and a science block and car parking relaced houses and the farmland. Farmland had turned into a sports field where the houses were wiped off completely and car parking and science block were established. After 12 years further utilisaton of the land took place and the size of the sports field and parcial area of the playground was allocated for car parking. The secondary school and the science block remained untouched. Overall, the whole setup and architecture had taken a turn and modifications took place as per the decade.
The picture illustrates the modifications in the construction that took place over the past 25 years.

The major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that happened was with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
near the secondary school and later with the farmland and the sports field.

School, main road, and the Playground had no
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
movement and
they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
intact.

In 1950, the secondary school vicinity had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
, an agricultural area, and a ground for the kids to play.

Almost all the four components occupied the similar land proportions.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there was an upgrade in 1980 and it's quite evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
has taken a boom and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
block and car parking
Possible spelling mistake found.
relaced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
and the farmland.

Farmland had turned into a sports field where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
were wiped
off completely and car parking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
block
were established
.

After 12 years
further
Possible spelling mistake found.
utilisaton
of the land took place and the size of the sports field and
Possible spelling mistake found.
parcial
area of the playground
was allocated
for car parking.

The secondary school and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
block remained untouched.

Overall
, the whole setup and architecture had taken a turn and modifications took place as per the decade.

IELTS academic Secondary school vicinity

Academic
  American English
10 paragraphs
187 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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