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Secondary school in 1950 until now

Secondary school in 1950 until now yPEbd
The maps outline the development of West Park Secondary School from 1950 until now. Overall, there are many changes in the Secondary School, especially, people built some more facilities. In 1950, along the main road, people built three buildings of houses on the left. Following that, the school is located on the right hand side of the picture. Near the houses and school, there were a farmland and a playground. 30 years later, the school and the playground remained in the same position while people destroyed the houses to replace it with a new car park and a science block. After that, a sports field was constructed to replace the farmland. At the present, the science and school buildings stay unchanged in the same position while people remove the sports field to expand the car park. Finally, the playground is divided into a new sports field and a smaller playground
The maps outline the development of West Park Secondary
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School
from 1950 until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Overall
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the Secondary
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School
,
especially
,
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people
built
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more facilities.

In 1950, along the main road,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
built three buildings of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
. Following that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is located
on the
Did you mean the adjective "right-hand"?
right hand
side of the picture. Near the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, there were a farmland and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playground
. 30 years later, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playground
remained in the same position while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
to replace it with a new car park and a science block. After that, a sports field
was constructed
to replace the farmland.

At the present, the science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
buildings stay unchanged in the same position while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
remove the sports field to expand the car park.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playground
is divided
into a new sports field and a smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playground
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IELTS academic Secondary school in 1950 until now

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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