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sales of digital games from the year 2000 to 2006

sales of digital games from the year 2000 to 2006 0nLl5
the given graph depicits the sales of digital games from the year 2000 to 2006. we can see the sale of handheld games increases drastically other games having slight up and down in the graph. according to the graph the sales of Console game consistantly decreasing from around 5 bilion on the year 2000 to 4 billion on 2006. whereas the online games was started selling from 2001 for 1 billion and lifted to 8 billion on the year 2006. mobile phone game was started selling from the year 2002 and had a gradual growth, finally ended up with arounf 7 billion dollar sales at the final year. finally the handheld game is dominating the market since the year 2000 for above 8 billion dollar and it shows a smooth lift and ended with 18 billion dollar sale in the year 2006. from the graph we can clearly understand that the people are more interested in hand held games over years than online, console or mobile phone games.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
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given
graph
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depicits
the
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sales
of digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
from the
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year
2000 to 2006.
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we
can
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see
the
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sale
of handheld
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games
increases
drastically
other
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games
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
having


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slight
up and down in the graph.

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according
to the graph the
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sales
of Console game
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consistantly
decreasing from around 5
Possible spelling mistake found.
bilion
on the
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year
2000 to 4
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billion
on 2006.
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whereas
the online
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games
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
was


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started
selling
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 2001 to 1"?
from 2001 for 1
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billion
and lifted to 8
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billion
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2006.

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mobile
phone game was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
selling from the
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year
2002 and had a gradual growth,
finally
ended up with
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arounf
7
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billion
dollar
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sales
at the final
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year
.
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finally
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


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handheld
game is dominating the market since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000 for above 8
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billion
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
and it
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shows
a smooth lift and ended with 18
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billion
dollar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2006.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
the graph we can
clearly
understand that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more interested in hand held
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
over years than online, console or mobile phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
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IELTS academic sales of digital games from the year 2000 to 2006

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
168 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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