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The table gives the information about the average hours spent per week in front of the computer by people of different age gropus in china

The table gives the information about the average hours spent per week in front of the computer by people of different age gropus in china doxJ6
The table illustrates the data about number of hours spent on computers by people of various age groups per week in China. Overall, it can be seen that the average time spent on computers by adults was higher, whereas it was lower among old people. Furthermore, the amount of time spent on computers was same for middle age people. Looking at the details, in men the age group between (10-15) began 10 hours. Then, there was rapid increase for the following age group(16-20) and it reached the value at 24 hours. After that, it declined continually for the next three age groups(26-30, 31-50 and 51+). At the end it the amount was 8 hours. However, in female the amount of time spent on computers started at 8 hours between the age of 10-15. At the age of 16-20, it touched at the peak and the value was 23. After this point, it dropped significantly for the age group 21-25, and the rate was 10 hours. For the following 2 age groups(26-30 and 31-50) the amount remained same and it was about 9 hours. The amount of time spent on computers for 51+ was 8 hours.
The table illustrates the data about number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on computers by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of various
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age
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groups
per week in China.
Overall
, it can be
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seen
that the average
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time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on computers by adults was higher, whereas it was lower among
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old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Furthermore
, the
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amount
of
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time
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spent
on computers was same for middle
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age
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people
. Looking at the
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details
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
the
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age
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group
between (10-15) began 10
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hours
. Then, there was rapid increase for the following
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group(16-20)
and it reached the value at 24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. After that, it declined
continually
for the
next
three
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups(26-30
, 31-50 and 51+). At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it the
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amount
was 8
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hours
.
However
, in female the
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amount
of
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time
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spent
on computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 10-15. At the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 16-20, it touched at the peak and the value was 23. After this point, it dropped
significantly
for the
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
21-25, and the rate was 10
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hours
. For the following 2
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups(26-30
and 31-50) the
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amount
remained same and it was about 9
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hours
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on computers for 51+ was 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
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IELTS academic The table gives the information about the average hours spent per week in front of the computer by people of different age gropus in china

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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