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Recycling household items

Recycling household items p5KM3
The graph illustrates the recycling rate of household of three countries such as I'm, France and Germany in the years of 2005 to 2015. Overall, the three countries showed major differences but France household recycling rate decreased meanwhile UK and Germany increased significantly over the years. Comparing the data, the United Kingdom being in the first place on household recycling. In 2005, UK had least recycling rate with 35% and then it reached 40% in 2007 and it remained stable until 2009 before increasing to 50% after that recycling rate increased immensely with 60% in 2015. similarly Germany showed consistent increase from 20% in 2005 to almost 60% in 2015 In contrast France was the highest recycling household rates with 50% in 2005 unfortunately this number declined to approximately 30% in 2013 before increasing to 40% in 2005. More specifically in the year of 2015, the United Kingdom has the highest rate of recycling household followed by Germany
The graph illustrates the
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recycling
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rate
of
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household
of three countries such as I'm, France and Germany in the years of 2005 to 2015.
Overall
, the three countries
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showed
major differences
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but
France
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household
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recycling
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rate
decreased meanwhile UK and Germany increased
significantly
over the years. Comparing the data, the United Kingdom being in the
first
place on
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household
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recycling
. In 2005, UK had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
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recycling
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rate
with 35% and then it reached 40% in 2007 and it remained stable until 2009
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before
increasing to 50% after that
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recycling
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rate
increased
immensely
with 60% in 2015.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
similarly
Germany
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
consistent increase from 20% in 2005 to almost 60% in 2015
In contrast
France was the highest
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recycling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
with 50% in 2005 unfortunately this number declined to approximately 30% in 2013
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
increasing to 40% in 2005. More
specifically
in the year of 2015, the United Kingdom has the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recycling
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household
followed by
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Germany
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IELTS academic Recycling household items

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
157 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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