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Raman ko apne fees bta di. Agr wo class k liye willing hai. She has to send fee in advance .....

Human beings tend to judge people according to their financial status and things they own and do not consider other values as valuable. In this essay I will strongly agree with this statement. Firstly, I will discuss the impact of having a great financial balance and secondly, I will explore how old-fashion values are perceived in today's era. Since the beginning of international trades, globalisation, equity market opening and digitalization of processes, many of us depend on money on our daily bases and having it in a large quantity is not a bad thing. As an example, having my own clothing business will lead to benefit of my employees, the suppliers and the manufacturing plant. It is irrelevant of people to judge on the basis of trust, kind nature and honor abilities as these will not put food on the table. As a result of this, people will become more concentrated towards fulfilling their financial goals. On the other hand, having such qualities may be perceived in this fast moving world as pre-mature. For example, you are a small businessman and went to a bank for loan but have nothing in collateral and tell the bank to trust them with money. The bank will see you as a fraudster and thus reject your loan. Therefore, having all the essential values may not lead to becoming a rich person. In conclusion, having possession and social, financial status is not bad but truly, a privilege and thus, our society should side with the people who can impact the economy rather than those who only have some qualities and values for socialising.
Human beings tend to judge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
according to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
status and things they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and do not consider other values as valuable. In this essay I will
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.
Firstly
, I will discuss the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
balance and
secondly
, I will explore how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashion values
are perceived
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era.

Since the beginning of international trades,
Possible spelling mistake. ‘globalisation’ is British English.
globalisation
, equity market opening and digitalization of processes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us depend on money on our daily bases and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
it in a large quantity is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing. As an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
clothing business will lead to benefit of my employees, the suppliers and the manufacturing plant. It is irrelevant of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to judge on the basis of trust, kind nature and honor abilities as these will not put food on the table.
As a result
of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will become more concentrated towards fulfilling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
goals.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
such qualities may
be perceived
in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
moving world as
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-mature
.
For example
, you are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businessman and went to a bank for loan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have nothing in collateral and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the bank to trust them with money. The bank will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you as a fraudster and
thus
reject your loan.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
all the essential values may not lead to becoming a rich person.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
possession and social,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
status is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
truly
, a privilege and
thus
, our society should side with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can impact the economy
rather
than those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
qualities and values for
Possible spelling mistake. ‘socialising’ is British English.
socialising
.
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IELTS academic Raman ko apne fees bta di. Agr wo class k liye willing hai. She has to send fee in advance. . . . .

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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