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purchasing of commodities in 5 countries

purchasing of commodities in 5 countries 0nRYG
The tabular chart illustrates information about purchaser pay out on several things in five different countries (Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey). Overall, all countries spent more amount on food/drinks/tobacco. However, they pay less money on leisure/education. According to the given data, turk people spent the highest amount on food drinks/tobacco and Ireland was second highest country at 32. 14% and 28. 91% respectively. However, three countries Ireland, Spain and Turkey were consume almost same amount on clothing/footwear. While, Italy spent more money at 9% and Sweden spent 5. 40% on same. Interestingly, the expenditure in leisure activity and education was much less than the amount spent on food. Furthermore, the highest amount spent on education and entertainment was done by Turkish people (4. 35%) and least amount spent by was in Spain (1. 98%). (Under-limit)
The tabular chart illustrates information about purchaser pay out on several things in five
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different
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countries
(Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey).

Overall
, all
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countries
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spent
more
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amount
on food/drinks/tobacco.
However
, they pay less money on leisure/education.

According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data,
Possible spelling mistake found.
turk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
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spent
the highest
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amount
on food drinks/tobacco and Ireland was second highest
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country
at 32. 14% and 28. 91%
respectively
.
However
, three
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countries
Ireland, Spain and Turkey were
Consider using a past participle here: "consumed".
consume
almost same
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amount
on clothing/footwear. While, Italy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
more money at 9% and Sweden
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spent
5. 40% on same.

Interestingly
, the expenditure in leisure activity and education was much less than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on food.
Furthermore
, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on education and entertainment
was done
by Turkish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
(4. 35%) and least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by was in Spain (1. 98%).

(Under-limit)
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IELTS academic purchasing of commodities in 5 countries

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
135 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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