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Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types

Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types 6LJEx
The table indicates the percentage of students who attended four different secondary schools in the years of 2000, 2005 and 2009. As seen in the table, most of the children went to the schools that were voluntary-controlled in 2000, but it seems the popularity decreased by 2009 in which year the most crowded secondary education institutions were the community schools. In 2000, the proportion of attendance at specialist schools was 20%, but it gradually decreased in 2009 by 2%. Even in grammar schools, the percentage of participation dropped at 12% in 2009 which was 24% in 2000. Overall, a bit more than half of the percentage of school children went to schools that were voluntary-controlled in 2000. The percentage sharply declined up to 20% in 2009. Community schools, by contrast, were not so popular in 2000, only 12% of the students attended. But rising at 32% in 2005, the schools became the highest in student participation in 2009, with 58%.
The table indicates the
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percentage
of students who attended four
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different
secondary
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schools
in the years of 2000, 2005 and 2009.

As
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seen
in the table, most of the children went to the
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schools
that were voluntary-controlled in 2000,
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but
it seems the popularity decreased by 2009 in which year the most crowded secondary education institutions were the community schools.

In 2000, the proportion of attendance at specialist
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schools
was 20%,
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but
it
gradually
decreased in 2009 by 2%. Even in grammar
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schools
, the
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percentage
of participation dropped at 12% in 2009 which was 24% in 2000.

Overall
, a bit more than half of the
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percentage
of
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school
children went to
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schools
that were voluntary-controlled in 2000. The
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percentage
sharply
declined up to 20% in 2009. Community
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schools
, by contrast, were not
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so
popular in 2000,
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only
12% of the students attended.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
rising at 32% in 2005, the
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schools
became the highest in student participation in 2009, with 58%.
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IELTS academic Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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