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process of rainwater and how it collected

process of rainwater and how it collected aVyRX
The diagram shows the way of rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in an Australian town, it is clear from the graph that in order to make the water drinkable it must undergo in many stages, as it is shown, first of all the rain water falls into the rooftop and it goes through the pipeline into the drains, then it continues the way to the water filter to make sure that the water is ready to go under clarity process, then it goes to the storage and travels by a pipeline to water treatment, it is a phase were the water is treated by chemicals which helps with water clarity, then the clean water travels through pipelines and it becomes available for drinking, to sum up we could say that in order to drink a clean water it must experience a multiple phased starting with rain falling into pipeline and ending up with a drinkable water to the people in town
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the way of rainwater
is collected
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in an Australian town, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
drinkable it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
undergo in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stages, as it
is shown
,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
the rain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
falls into the rooftop and it goes through the pipeline into the drains, then it continues the way to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
filter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is ready to go under clarity process, then it goes to the storage and travels by a pipeline to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
treatment, it is a phase were the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is treated
by chemicals which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
clarity, then the clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
travels through pipelines and it becomes available for drinking, to sum up we could say that in order to drink a clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
experience a multiple phased starting with rain falling into pipeline and ending up with a drinkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in town
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IELTS academic process of rainwater and how it collected

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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