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process of making sugar from sugar cane

process of making sugar from sugar cane yRQq3
The diagram below depicts the process by which, sugar is produce from sugar cane. The process comprises 7 strides, commenting from growing and ending in drying and cooling. First, sugar canes are grown for 12-18 months. Secondly, the crops are harvested either manually or automatically via dedicated machines. Having crushed with the crusher, the extracted juice is sent to purification unit where the juice is purified. After passing through limestone filter, the juice is evaporated in the evaporator this is where the juice is being concentrated and syrup is produced. Furthermore, the boiled down liquor is routed to centrifuge step and the produced sugar crystals are separated from the syrup. Finally, the crystals are dried and the final yield is cooled down prior to being stored. Overall, the process of making sugar from sugar canes develops within 7 steps consists of growing, harvesting, crushing, purification, evaporation, centrifuge separation, drying and cooling.
The diagram below depicts the process by which,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is produce from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
cane. The process comprises 7 strides, commenting from growing and ending in drying and cooling.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
canes
are grown
for 12-18 months.
Secondly
, the crops
are harvested
either
manually
or
automatically
via dedicated machines. Having crushed with the crusher, the extracted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juice
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to purification unit where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juice
is purified
. After passing through limestone filter, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juice
is evaporated
in the evaporator this is where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juice
is
being concentrated
and syrup
is produced
.
Furthermore
, the boiled down liquor
is routed
to centrifuge step and the produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
crystals
are separated
from the syrup.
Finally
, the crystals
are dried
and the final yield
is cooled
down prior to
being stored
.

Overall
, the process of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
canes develops within 7 steps consists of growing, harvesting, crushing, purification, evaporation, centrifuge separation, drying and cooling.
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IELTS academic process of making sugar from sugar cane

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
151 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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