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Process of collecting weather information

Process of collecting weather information A3nqX
The illustration demonstrates the process of how the most recent climate information is gathered by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology to generate trustworthy forecasts. Overall we can see that there are four main stages in total, beginning with assembling input data and ending with weather broadcasting. According to the diagram, there are three main sources of collecting weather data and three ways of analyzing it. First of all, income information is derived from satellite and presented for scrutinizing carefully as a satellite photo. Meanwhile, other data like radar screens or synoptic charts can be sent through a radar station while the drifting, which is placed on the sea depicts a synoptic chart of the Australian climate. In the third stage, all the statistics are certified by climate experts in computers. If they agree on those data, there will be ready to broadcast to people. The residents can watch the weather forecasts are hosted via TV newsreaders, radio or recorded announcements.
The illustration demonstrates the process of how the most recent climate information
is gathered
by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology to generate trustworthy forecasts.
Overall
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there are four main stages in total, beginning with assembling input
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
and ending with weather broadcasting.

According to the diagram, there are three main sources of collecting weather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
and three ways of analyzing it.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, income information
is derived
from satellite and presented for scrutinizing
carefully
as a satellite photo. Meanwhile, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
like radar screens or synoptic charts can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
through a radar station while the drifting, which
is placed
on the sea depicts a synoptic chart of the Australian climate.

In the third stage, all the statistics
are certified
by climate experts in computers. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
, there will be ready to broadcast to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The residents can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the weather forecasts
are hosted
via TV newsreaders, radio or recorded announcements.

IELTS academic Process of collecting weather information

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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