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Playground in India VS Canada

Playground in India VS Canada O6m7E
The playgrounds in India, they don't have one, we just used to play cricket in a big open field. The playgrounds in Canada I find much better than the playgrounds in India because they have a slide, a few swings, and monkey-bars etc. In India they have nothing really nothing. The India one was not bad, the cricket we used to play was enjoyable but not as enjoyable as the Canada park. I often go on the swings, I mean only on the swings. In Canada I have seen like three parks, I see two already in the on the way of the big playground I go in then the way of the third one, as you got to know is the third one. The first two ones were very small like a size of an eagle, the big park is the size of a zebra or lion.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playgrounds
in India, they don't have one, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to play cricket in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
open field. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playgrounds
in Canada I find much better than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playgrounds
in India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have a slide, a few swings, and monkey-bars etc. In
The comma is probably missing here: "India, they".
India they
have nothing
really
nothing. The India one was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, the cricket we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to play was enjoyable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not as enjoyable as the Canada park. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go on the swings, I mean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the swings. In
The comma is probably missing here: "Canada, I".
Canada I
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
like three parks, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
two already in the on the way of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playground
I go in then the way of the third one, as you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to know is the third one. The
first
two ones were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
like a size of an eagle, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
park is the size of a zebra or lion.

IELTS academic Playground in India VS Canada

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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