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The production of deep-fried salted peanuts

The production of deep-fried salted peanuts KVKBR
The given diagram illustrates the production of the deep-fried salted peanuts by a special company. Overall, that is a linear man-made process which consists of the 8 different stages, starting with the harvesting crops and finishing with its delivery to the shops and the small traders. First, the shells of the harvested peanuts are removed. After that, they are sent to the warehouse of the company in the 50 kg packages. Once they have arrived at the storage, the peanuts are put in the frying pans in order to fry them at the 190” for 5 minutes. Then the fried peanuts are scattered in a cooling tray so as to add the enough salt. In the final stage of the process, the dried peanuts are loaded into the packages which have distinct capacities. Having ended the packaging process, these are transported to the shops and the small vendors by trucks.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram illustrates the production of the deep-fried salted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peanuts
by a special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Overall
,
that is
a linear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made process which consists of the 8
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages, starting with the harvesting crops and finishing with its delivery to the shops and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
traders.

First
, the shells of the harvested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peanuts
are removed
. After that, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the warehouse of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in the 50 kg packages. Once they have arrived at the storage, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peanuts
are put
in the frying pans in order to fry them at the 190” for 5 minutes. Then the fried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peanuts
are scattered
in a cooling tray
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
salt.

In the final stage of the process, the dried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peanuts
are loaded
into the packages which have distinct capacities. Having ended the packaging process, these
are transported
to the shops and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
vendors by trucks.
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IELTS academic The production of deep-fried salted peanuts

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
150 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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