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pie charts show the average proportion of food eaten in Korea, China and India in 2008.

pie charts show the average proportion of food eaten in Korea, China and India in 2008. o5Eqq
The given pie charts depict the average percentage of various types of food in three nations namely Korea, China and India in 2008. Overall, processed food was the most popular kind of food in all three countries. In addition, while the consumption of nuts and seeds was the lowest in India and Korea, citizens in China did not prefer to utilize meat ingestion. To begin with, processed food occupied 41% in Korean’ diet, which was slightly higher than the figures for India and China, about 39% and 34%, respectively. In terms of nuts and seeds consumption, the percentage of China was around 19%, 5% more than India’s figure and fivefold times as high as the proportion of Korea, just about 4%. Regarding the remaining two types of food, animal-derived food contributed around 26% in the total amount of food consumed by both Indian and Korean citizens, whereas China consumed less animal meat by 11%. Furthermore, the proportion of plant-based product intake consumed by Koreans was almost equal to that of China, with just around 30%, showing a 7% higher demand than India.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie charts depict the average percentage of various types of
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food
in three nations
namely
Korea, China and India in 2008.

Overall
, processed
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food
was the most popular kind of
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food
in all three countries.
In addition
, while the consumption of nuts and seeds was the lowest in India and Korea, citizens in China did not prefer to utilize meat ingestion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
occupied 41% in Korean’ diet, which was
slightly
higher than the figures for India and China, about 39% and 34%,
respectively
. In terms of nuts and seeds consumption, the percentage of China was around 19%, 5% more than India’s figure and fivefold times as high as the proportion of Korea,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 4%.

Regarding the remaining two types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, animal-derived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contributed around 26% in the total amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumed by both Indian and Korean citizens, whereas China consumed less animal meat by 11%.
Furthermore
, the proportion of plant-based product intake consumed by Koreans was almost equal to that of China, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
around 30%, showing a 7% higher demand than India.
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IELTS academic pie charts show the average proportion of food eaten in Korea, China and India in 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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