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Children spend a great deal of time in school,more specifically in classroom with the classmates with whom they not only study but also do many other activities.Many people believe that a school going child more influenced by its classmates for its performance in the school than even its parents. To what extent do you whith this statement?

Children spend a great deal of time in school, more specifically in classroom with the classmates with whom they not only study but also do many other activities. Many people believe that a school going child more influenced by its classmates for its performance in the school than even its parents. L3BpK
Children are like a raw clay who ready to mould whoever guide them. Children spend more time with their friends than parents. Some claim that classmate are the major influence for performance of children. This essay will argue that performance of child often depend on several reasons. Children’s first stage of society is school. Some children like to attend school not because of study but because of friends. Psycological factors has cited that peers are always been considarable impact on the school age child. Furthermore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are like a raw clay who ready to
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
whoever guide them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
spend more time with their friends than parents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
claim
The verb 'are' is plural. Did you mean: "that classmate is"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that classmate are
the major influence for performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay will argue that performance of child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
depend on several reasons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children’s
first
stage of society is school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like to attend school not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of friends.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Psycological
factors has cited that peers are always been
Possible spelling mistake found.
considarable
impact on the school age child.
Furthermore

IELTS academic Children spend a great deal of time in school, more specifically in classroom with the classmates with whom they not only study but also do many other activities. Many people believe that a school going child more influenced by its classmates for its performance in the school than even its parents.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
84 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Children spend a great deal of time in school,more specifically in classroom with the classmates with whom they not only study but also do many other activities.Many people believe that a school going child more influenced by its classmates for its performance in the school than even its parents. To what extent do you whith this statement?