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Pie chart indicating sodium, saturated fat and added sugar intake for an average person in the USA

Pie chart indicating sodium, saturated fat and added sugar intake for an average person in the USA R5lO8
The pie charts depict the daily consumption of different nutrients in every meal as well as snacks by an average person in the USA. The major ingredients like sodium, saturated fat and added sugar are divided into four courses throughout but have a negative impact on health with its increased usage. Firstly, added sugar plays a major role of 42 percent included in snacks. For the same, the overall breakfast includes a low range of 16 to 19. Saturated fats have the highest rate of 37 during the dinner time, followed by breakfast and snacks falling between 16 to 21 percentage. Secondly, the most prominent time to consume sodium of about 43 percentage is seen for dinner. Although sodium has a minimum stable intake of 14 percent for two meals, its single use in breakfast has a maximum impact. It is observed that people indulge maximum food containing sodium and saturated fat for their end day meal. The lunch items have been in a mediocre range for all types of nutrients, while breakfast and snacks have a minimum impact for nutrients apart from sugar.
The pie charts depict the daily consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nutrients in every meal
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
by an average person in the USA. The major ingredients like sodium, saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar
are divided
into four courses throughout
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on health with its increased usage.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar plays a major role of 42 percent included in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
. For the same, the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
includes a low range of 16 to 19. Saturated fats have the highest rate of 37 during the dinner time, followed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
falling
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 16 and 21".
between 16 to 21
percentage.

Secondly
, the most prominent time to consume sodium of about 43 percentage is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for dinner. Although sodium has a minimum stable intake of 14 percent for two meals, its single
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
has a maximum impact.

It
is observed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
indulge maximum food containing sodium and saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
day meal. The lunch items have been in a mediocre range for all types of nutrients, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
have a minimum impact for nutrients apart from sugar.
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IELTS academic Pie chart indicating sodium, saturated fat and added sugar intake for an average person in the USA

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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