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pie chart illustrates the given information

pie chart illustrates the given information 8gJJr
In the years 2004 and 2009, the pie chart illustrates data of the people who used different modes of transportation to travel to university for employment or study. The modes of transportation depicted are: i) Bus ii) Bicycle iii) Car iv) Train v) Walking. The most striking features in the pie chart are car and bus. Travelling by car was the most used method in 2004 which had a share of 51%. However, in 2009 it has declined to 28% maybe because of the changes in car parking which have taken place in 2008. Conversely, the usage of buses had a percentage of 33% in 2004 but has immensely increased in 2009 by 48% this might have happened because of the new bus stop which was built in 2006. On the other hand, it is surprising to see that other modes of travelling such as cycle and train had a minimal change from 3% to 4% and 4% to 6% respectively. A bird's eye view of the pie charts clearly shows that the most prefered modes of travelling by people are car and bus followed by bicycle. Whereas, the preference of train and walking are very less in both the years when compared to others.
In the years 2004 and 2009, the pie chart illustrates data of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
of transportation to travel to university for employment or study. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
of transportation depicted are: i) Bus ii) Bicycle iii)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Car
iv) Train v) Walking.

The most striking features in the pie chart are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and bus. Travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
was the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
method in 2004 which had a share of 51%.
However
, in 2009 it has declined to 28% maybe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
parking which have taken place in 2008.
Conversely
, the usage of buses had a percentage of 33% in 2004
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has
immensely
increased in 2009 by 48% this might have happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the new bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
which
was built
in 2006.

On the other hand
, it is surprising to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
of travelling such as cycle and train had a minimal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from 3% to 4% and 4% to 6%
respectively
.

A bird's eye view of the pie charts
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the most
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
of travelling by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and bus followed by bicycle. Whereas, the preference of train and walking are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less in both the years when compared to others.
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IELTS academic pie chart illustrates the given information

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
205 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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