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Pie chart IELTS Academic Task 1 Sample Essay 3: 2014 Age Distribution in Asia

The pie chart above shows the age distribution of the population in Asian countries for 2014. The population is divided into five age groups: 0 to 14 years, 15 to 24 years, 25 to 54 years, 55 to 64 years, and 65 years and above. People in the 25 to 54 age group make up the largest group, at 35. 3 percent of the total population. The 15 to 24 group and 55 to 64 group make follow, with 19. 5 percent and 18. 4 percent of the population, respectively. 0 to 14 year olds make up 15. 6 percent of the population. Those aged 65 years and above hold the smallest share of the population, at 11. 2 percent. In summary, the pie chart shows that working-age adults (including teens 15 and older) made up the vast majority of the Asian population in 2014. Young children and seniors combined add up to just over a quarter of the total population.
The pie chart above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the age distribution of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in Asian countries for 2014.

The
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population
is divided
into five age
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groups
: 0 to 14 years, 15 to 24 years, 25 to 54 years, 55 to 64 years, and 65 years and above.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in the 25 to 54 age
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group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up the largest
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group
, at 35. 3
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percent
of the total
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population
. The 15 to 24
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group
and 55 to 64
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group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
follow, with 19. 5
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percent
and 18. 4
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percent
of the
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population
,
respectively
. 0 to 14
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year
olds
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make
up 15. 6
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percent
of the
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population
. Those aged 65 years and above hold the smallest share of the
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population
, at 11. 2 percent.

In summary, the pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that working-age adults (including teens 15 and older) made up the vast majority of the Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in 2014. Young children and seniors combined
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a quarter of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
.

IELTS academic Pie chart IELTS Academic Task 1 Sample Essay 3: 2014 Age Distribution in Asia

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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