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that graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002. in includes those with a degree and those with a higher degree and those with other qualifications

the glance at the graph provided reveals the weekly earnings of graduates of different years during 2002. overall, it is evident that the earnings of young employees are the lowest for all three degrees (about 250-410 pounds) as compared to graduates with other qualifications in about of 38 years. in addition, higher degree employees gained the largest salary in the 56-60 category. consisting the lowest index in the youngest category, the income gained by first degree graduates rose steadily in the group 31-35 and reached its peak at 36-40. then it goes down and shows rising tendency from extremely under £700. exact same earnings are achieved by post graduates, the youngest employees gained almost £400, before growing slightly until 31-35 to approximately £650, and hit the highest point depicted about £750 at 41-45. after reaching its peak, the index revealed falling tendency, however, experienced a significant rise in the oldest group (extremely under £800)rising from 21 to 36 years, employees with other qualifications composed the highest earnings (a bit more £800), despite this, saw a sharp decrease and the trend declined steadily until the end, almost catching up with first degree graduates.
the glance at the graph provided reveals the weekly
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earnings
of
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graduates
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years during 2002.
overall
, it is evident that the
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earnings
of young
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employees
are the lowest for all three
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degrees
(about 250-410 pounds) as compared to
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graduates
with other qualifications in about of 38 years.
in addition
, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
gained the largest salary in the 56-60 category. consisting the lowest index in the youngest category, the income gained by
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
rose
steadily
in the group 31-35 and reached its peak at 36-40. then it goes down and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
rising tendency from
extremely
under £700. exact same
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earnings
are achieved
by post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
, the youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
gained almost £400,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
growing
slightly
until 31-35 to approximately £650, and hit the highest point depicted about £750 at 41-45. after reaching its peak, the index revealed falling tendency,
however
, experienced a significant rise in the oldest group (
extremely
under £800)rising from 21 to 36 years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
with other qualifications composed the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
(a bit more £800), despite this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a sharp decrease and the trend declined
steadily
until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, almost catching up with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
.

IELTS academic that graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002. in includes those with a degree and those with a higher degree and those with other qualifications

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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