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Pie chart about Post school qualifications

Pie chart about Post school qualifications g5lel
The pie chart above demonstrates the qualifications of Canadians who graduated from school in terms of different age ranges, 25-35 and 45-55. Overall, it is seen that the departments engineering, administration, and social science/arts are the most popular types of future professions. On the contrary, the group involving humanities and nursing contributes to smaller portions in aggregate. As the report given, the people from either age group are mostly qualified in administration and social science/arts, so that the total proportions are quite close to each other by constituting approximately 40% of the charts. This pattern is provided in spite of the subtle differences where more than 200 thousand Canadians prefer these faculties 4% (administration) and 1% more. On the other hand, the academic fields engineering and science, maths, computers saw a fluctuation. It was more common among the elderly group to choose engineering that there occurred a significant gap between those by somewhat 10% for each. Secondly, beside them, Canadians' preferences were always less towards humanities, MBA, nursing, and the other post-graduate qualifications. Lastly, this class reflected a number of 19% for the younger ( 515, 600 people) and 22% for the senior people to the graph.
The pie chart above demonstrates the qualifications of Canadians who graduated from school in terms of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age ranges, 25-35 and 45-55.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the departments engineering, administration, and social science/arts are the most popular types of future professions.
On the contrary
, the group involving humanities and nursing contributes to smaller portions in aggregate.

As the report
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from either age group are
mostly
qualified in administration and social science/arts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the total proportions are quite close to each other by constituting approximately 40% of the charts. This pattern
is provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the subtle differences where more than 200 thousand Canadians prefer these faculties 4% (administration) and 1% more.

On the other hand
, the academic fields engineering and science,
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a fluctuation. It was more common among the elderly group to choose engineering that there occurred a significant gap between those by somewhat 10% for each.
Secondly
, beside them, Canadians' preferences were always less towards humanities, MBA, nursing, and the other post-graduate qualifications.
Lastly
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
reflected a number of 19% for the younger
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
515, 600
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
) and 22% for the senior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to the graph.
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IELTS academic Pie chart about Post school qualifications

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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