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personal statement about chemistry

personal statement about chemistry aljRo
I chose chemistry because I have a passion for studying chemicals and how to deal with them. My presence in the school laboratory was happiness for me, as I love exploring new things and doing chemical explorations. What interest me is that chemistry is one related subject for our life. It is in the medicine, clothes and others. Also, it may help keep me safe I will understand this life how is going. In addition, it will teach me lots of skills like making decisions, as well as it will help me to know about the current events. I am very accurate, as this trait will help me when entering the laboratory and dealing with chemicals. I also love exploration, adventure and looking at everything new, and this is what will prompt me to inquire about everything related to chemistry and laboratories. fnally, I am into the challenge and getting something wrong in Chemistry is seen as a chance, not a mistake therefore it encourages me to keep going. I have studied chemistry as a separate subject for two years in secondary school. And in the last year in school I have got an excellent grade which let me to study this subject abroad. Through my studies in school, I have acquired many skills of cooperation, teamwork and assistance. I also participated in many school events and competitions. I had participated in many competitions for knowledge development in mathematics and chemistry. I also participated in many industrial robot and chemical experiments groups. I want to be in the future a chemist working in one of the laboratory in my country. well I will use social responsibility and my knowledge to work hard and contribute with my workmates.
I chose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemistry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have a passion for studying chemicals and how to deal with them.

My presence in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laboratory
was happiness for me, as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
exploring new things and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
doing
chemical explorations.

What interest me is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemistry
is one related subject for our life. It is in the medicine,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
clothes


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
others.
Also
, it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
me safe I will understand this life how is going.
In addition
,
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it


will teach me lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like making decisions,
as well
as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to know about the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
current
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
accurate, as this trait will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me when entering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laboratory
and dealing with

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
chemicals
. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
exploration, adventure and looking at everything new, and this is what
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
will


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
prompt
me to inquire about everything related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemistry
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laboratories
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
fnally
, I am into the

challenge and getting something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Chemistry
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a chance, not a mistake

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
it encourages me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
going.

I have studied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemistry
as a separate subject for two years in secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. And in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
last


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
year
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
an excellent grade which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me to study this subject abroad.

Through my studies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I have acquired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of cooperation, teamwork and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
assistance
. I
also
participated in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and competitions. I had participated
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
in


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
many
competitions for knowledge development in mathematics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemistry
. I
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
also


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
participated
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industrial robot and chemical experiments groups.

I want to be in the future a chemist working in one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laboratory
in my country.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
well
I will
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
use


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
social
responsibility and my knowledge to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and contribute with my workmates.
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IELTS academic personal statement about chemistry

Academic
  American English
20 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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