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The diagram below shows the proposed town.

The diagram below shows the proposed town. Ewml3
The following plan illustrates the structures that are planned to be built in a town. First of all, it can be seen that there are four main roads from north, south, east and west that conjoined at the center, in the center there are two parking areas in the down left corner and upper right corner as well as the two bus stops one is next to the parking which is on the upper right, and the other one is in the opposite of the parking that is in down left corner. Around the centre, there will be housing buildings circled by the ring roads. Then in the outer area of the town, there are housingss in northeast, east, southwest, and west. In addition, the northwest and southeast side of the town are seperated for industry. In the southwest housing, there is a recreational area and there are four other recreational areas which are in the southwest and northeast of the town center.
The following plan illustrates the structures that
are planned
to
be built
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there are four main roads from north, south, east and west that conjoined at the center, in the center there are two parking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in the down
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
corner and upper right corner
as well
as the two bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
one is
next
to the parking which is on the upper right, and the other one is in the opposite of the parking
that is
in down
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
corner. Around the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, there will be housing buildings circled by the ring roads. Then in the outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
housingss
in northeast, east, southwest, and west.
In addition
, the northwest and southeast side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperated
for industry. In the southwest housing, there is a recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and there are four other recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which are in the southwest and northeast of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
center.

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the proposed town.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
163 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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