Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study

The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study XMWg
The table chart illustrates the information regarding comparing five distinct working people's sleeping pattern according to the occupation. Overall, majority of student categories asleep more hours as compared to other people while least sleeping pattern recorded among doctors. With regard, the maximum time take sleep witness between learner and business executives. Both figures take 8 hours sleep everyday. Similarly, full- time mother also have pattern of sleep but they have sleep in three different time from 10pm- 1 am, 3 am- 6 am and again 1 pm - 3pm. Moving further, the minimum asleep recorded by truck- driver and practitioner. The figure of driver of trucks showed one hour early morning and again next day 7am- 10 am and in the evening 4-5 pm. likewise, doctor follow from 1 am - 7 am sleeping everyday which is recorded least format of sleep in Canadian survey.
The table chart illustrates the information regarding comparing five distinct working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's sleeping pattern according to the occupation.
Overall
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
student categories asleep more hours as compared to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
while least sleeping pattern recorded among doctors. With regard, the maximum time take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
witness between learner and business executives. Both figures take 8 hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
Similarly
, full- time mother
also
have pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
time from 10pm- 1 am, 3 am- 6 am and again 1 pm
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
3pm. Moving
further
, the minimum asleep recorded by truck- driver and practitioner. The figure of driver of trucks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
one hour early morning and again
next
day 7am- 10 am and in the evening 4-5 pm.
likewise
, doctor follow from 1 am
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
7 am sleeping
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
which
is recorded
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
format of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
in Canadian survey.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study