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percentage of oil in thaw world

percentage of oil in thaw world wONBn
The first given chart illustrates the distribution of oil resources, however the 2nd chart shows the consumption of these resources in the world. In overall view, Middle East occupies the highest percentage of world oil resources, however Asia is responsible on the consumption of most of the oil in the world. Middle East is considered the highest among all other regions of the world in mining oil resources, with a score of 56. 52 percent, followed by Canada, Central, and South America, Eastern Europe, Africa, Asia, US, Western Europe, Australia, and New Zeeland, and other countries with a score of 14, 8, 6, 6, 2, 1, 1, 0. 3, and 1 percent respectively. On the other hand Asia, and US consumption of oil is the highest among other regions with a score of approximately 26, followed by Eastern Europe, middle East, and Central, and south America, with a score of about 6 percent each, furthermore Canada consumes 2. 48 percent of world oil which is less than that in Africa with 3. 35. Moreover, Australia, and New Zeeland, and other countries consumes
The
first
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given
chart illustrates the distribution of
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oil
resources,
however
the 2nd chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the consumption of these resources in the
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world
. In
overall
view, Middle East occupies the highest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
resources,
however
Asia is responsible on the consumption of most of the
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oil
in the world.

Middle East
is considered
the highest among all
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other
regions of the
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world
in mining
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oil
resources, with a
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score
of 56. 52
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percent
, followed by Canada, Central, and South America, Eastern Europe, Africa, Asia, US, Western Europe, Australia, and
Did you mean "New Zealand"?
New Zeeland
, and
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other
countries with a
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score
of 14, 8, 6, 6, 2, 1, 1, 0. 3, and 1
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percent
respectively
.

On the
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other
hand Asia, and US consumption of
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oil
is the highest among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
regions with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
score
of approximately 26, followed by Eastern Europe,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
middle East
, and Central, and
Capitalize specific, well-defined geographical regions: "South America"
south America
, with a
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score
of about 6
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percent
each,
furthermore
Canada consumes 2. 48
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percent
of
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world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
which is less than that in Africa with 3. 35.
Moreover
, Australia, and
Did you mean "New Zealand"?
New Zeeland
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries consumes
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IELTS academic percentage of oil in thaw world

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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