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People’s behaviour (for example, their table manners and they way they dress) varies from country to country. When traveling to a different country, people should copy the behaviour and habits of the inhabitants of the country they visit. Do you agree or disagree ?

People’s behaviour (for example, their table manners and they way they dress) varies from country to country. When traveling to a different country, people should copy the behaviour and habits of the inhabitants of the country they visit. YLQDV
Peoples’ manners and styles are diverse across the world, and deeply depend on the country they live in. Many individuals argue that, visitors should follow the natives’ behaviour and habits. I partially concur with the argument. Those who support the view that travelers should ape the natives base it on several reasons. Firstly, some habits of locals can make visitors feel close to the their culture. For example, mimicking the dressing style, as clothing has always been important component of any culture. Furthermore, the habits of the locals that are largely influenced by the weather and climate can make travelers stay comfortable and help them adapt to the surroundings easily. However, imitating all the habits of natives of other countries is undesirable and unnecessary. First and foremost, few practices of natives are because of climate in those countries and copying them might be dangerous. For example, many countries with tropical climate are hot most times, owing to which the food habits of inhabitants may differ from food choices in other regions. Therefore, following these habits would negatively impact health of the traveler. Not merely this, a large population living in the cold countries consume alcohol or smoke cigarettes to keep body warmer, aping them could have detrimental effects on bodies of peoples’ visiting such areas. To conclude, in my opinion, not all habits or choices should be copied. In fact, it should always be a well-balanced mix. Essentially, pick harmless or beneficial habits, whereas others that could lead to damage are best kept at bay.
Peoples’ manners and styles are diverse across the world, and
deeply
depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals argue that, visitors should follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natives’
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
. I
partially
concur with the argument.

Those who support the view that travelers should ape the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natives
base it on several reasons.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
of locals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
visitors feel close to
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their culture" or "the culture"?
the their culture
.
For example
, mimicking the dressing style, as clothing has always been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
component of any culture.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
of the locals that are
largely
influenced by the weather and climate can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
travelers stay comfortable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them adapt to the surroundings
easily
.

However
, imitating all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natives
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is undesirable and unnecessary.
First
and foremost, few practices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natives
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of climate in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and copying them might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with tropical climate are hot most times, owing to which the food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
of inhabitants may differ from food choices in other regions.
Therefore
, following these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
would
negatively
impact health of the traveler. Not
merely
this, a large population living in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
consume alcohol or smoke cigarettes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
body warmer, aping them could have detrimental effects on bodies of peoples’ visiting such areas.

To conclude
, in my opinion, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
or choices should
be copied
. In fact, it should always be a well-balanced mix.
Essentially
, pick harmless or beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
, whereas others that could lead to damage are best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
at bay.
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IELTS academic People’s behaviour (for example, their table manners and they way they dress) varies from country to country. When traveling to a different country, people should copy the behaviour and habits of the inhabitants of the country they visit.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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