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People discharged carbon dioxide

The graph illustrates the mean carbon footprint per person in four European countries, during 1967 and 2007. As the United Kingdom is the first country by the industrial revolution, its initial carbon-footprint is meaningfully more than the other countries, about 10 times more than Portugal. During 50 years the overall carbon footprint of the United Kingdom and Sweden has decreased meaningfully. In spite of the pure carbon dioxide emission in Italy and Portugal increased a lot. The overall change in the carbon dioxide emission of Sweden is decreasing, but a peak of emission can be seen in the 1970s. Although in England the decreasing rate is smooth and gradual. On the other hand, both Italy and Portugal have a sharp increasing change in their carbon dioxide emission. However, the United Kingdom decreased its carbon footprint meaningfully, but still, its footprint is more than Italy and Portugal. Indeed, Sweden's politics seemed to be more effective than the other countries in controlling the carbon footprint which means that after 50 years its carbon emission became half, and this is the real meaning of the sustainable development.
The graph illustrates the mean
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carbon
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footprint
per person in four European
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countries
, during 1967 and 2007.

As the United Kingdom is the
first
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country
by the industrial revolution, its initial carbon-footprint is
meaningfully
more than the other
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countries
, about 10 times more than Portugal. During 50 years the
overall
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carbon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
footprint
of the United Kingdom and Sweden has decreased
meaningfully
.
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In spite of
the pure
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carbon
dioxide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
in Italy and Portugal increased a lot.

The
overall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
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carbon
dioxide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
of Sweden is decreasing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a peak of
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emission
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the 1970s. Although in England the decreasing rate is smooth and gradual.

On the other hand
, both Italy and Portugal have a sharp increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their
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carbon
dioxide emission.

However
, the United Kingdom decreased its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
footprint
meaningfully
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
footprint
is more than Italy and Portugal.

Indeed
, Sweden's politics seemed to be more effective than the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in controlling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
footprint
which means that after 50 years its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
became half, and this is the real meaning of the sustainable development.
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IELTS academic People discharged carbon dioxide

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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