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participation of young people in 2019 Annual Sports events from the schools of Eastern region

participation of young people in 2019 Annual Sports events from the schools of Eastern region DqBbk
The chart provides information about the participation of young people in 2019 Annual Sports events from the schools of Eastern region by gender In general, both boys and girls have different choices to participate in sports. The highest activity that boys in Eastern region participated was football which reached almost 70 participants while woman less than half. Girls proved high enthusiastic in swimming than boys. Girls participated more than boys in swimming with around 52 compared with 48 boys. On the other hand, boys were more active in cycling, where they had almost 60 participants, 9 more than girls. Boys also participated more in tennis than girls, with around 24 whilst girls numbered just 18. Overall, the figures demonstrate that boys spend significantly more time than girls playing football and slightly more time cycling and playing tennis. However, girls slightly preferred walking, swimming and skating but did not participate significantly in football
The chart provides information about the participation of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2019 Annual Sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
from the schools of Eastern region by gender

In general
, both
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boys
and
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girls
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
choices to participate in sports. The highest activity that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
in Eastern region participated was football which reached almost 70 participants while woman less than half.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Girls
proved high enthusiastic in swimming than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
.
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Girls
participated more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
in swimming with around 52 compared with 48
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
.
On the other hand
,
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boys
were more active in cycling, where they had almost 60 participants, 9 more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Boys
also
participated more in tennis than
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girls
, with around 24 whilst
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girls
numbered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
18.

Overall
, the figures demonstrate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
spend
significantly
more time than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
playing football and
slightly
more time cycling and playing tennis.
However
,
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girls
slightly
preferred walking, swimming and skating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
did not participate
significantly
in football
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IELTS academic participation of young people in 2019 Annual Sports events from the schools of Eastern region

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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