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participation of 11-14 year olds in the United Kingdom in extreme sports in the year 2003

participation of 11-14 year olds in the United Kingdom in extreme sports in the year 2003 wKdVe
The table below shows the tabular representation of participation of 11-14 year olds in the United Kingdom in extreme sports in the year 2003. After primary examination of data it can be said that the percentage of participation of females was lower than that of males. Among the list of activities under consideration, skateboarding was the most popular sport amongst the male participation. Snowboarding witnessed the lowest participation from both sexes, the percentage undertaking of which could be attributed to 6. 1%, additionally, the sport is also the least popular with the female participants. Rollerblading was by far the most popular extreme sport with the female participants, it is also the only sport which saw higher participation from the fairer sex by almost 10%. It can be concluded that mountain biking, skateboarding and rollerblading are the most preferred sports whereas snowboarding and mountain climbing have been the least popular of the lot.
The table below
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shows
the tabular representation of
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participation
of 11-14 year olds in the United Kingdom in extreme
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sports
in the year 2003.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
primary examination of data it can
be said
that the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participation
of females was lower than that of males. Among the list of activities under consideration, skateboarding was the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
Do not mix variants of the same word ('amongst' and 'among') within a single text.
amongst
the male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participation
. Snowboarding witnessed the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participation
from both sexes, the percentage undertaking of which could
be attributed
to 6. 1%,
additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
also
the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
with the female participants. Rollerblading was by far the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
with the female participants, it is
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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sport
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participation
from the fairer sex by almost 10%. It can
be concluded
that mountain biking, skateboarding and rollerblading are the most preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
whereas snowboarding and mountain climbing have been the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
of the lot.
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IELTS academic participation of 11-14 year olds in the United Kingdom in extreme sports in the year 2003

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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