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deforestation, over-grazing, over-cultivation, and others

deforestation, over-grazing, over-cultivation, and others 26EnX
The pie chart illustrates how the four key causes (deforestation, over-grazing, over-cultivation, and others) have resulted in the loss of Farming land’s productivity during the 1990s. The table indicates the percentage of land degraded in three different regions of the world due to the above causes. Overall, over-grazing has resulted in most of the land degradation followed by deforestation, and over-cultivation. However, the difference in their share of destruction is very minute. On the other hand, Europe stands as the most affected with North America being the least while Oceania takes up the second place. To begin with, Overgrazing has resulted in more than one third’s (35%) of the soil turning less useful, followed by deforestation and overcultivation accounting for 30% and 28% respectively. Other causes made up only 7%. To finalize, the total land that lost its productivity was the highest (23%) in Europe region where deforestation, overcultivation, and overgrazing made up 9. 8%, 7. 7% and 5. 5% respectively. By contrast, the same figures in case of Oceania stood at 1. 7%, 0, and 11. 3% with 13% of the overall land loosing its productivity. The least prone region was the North America with only 5% of its soil losing fertility which was a result of 0. 2% from deforestation, 3. 3% from Overcultivation and just 1. 5% from overgrazing.
The pie chart illustrates how the four key causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(deforestation
, over-grazing, over-cultivation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
) have resulted in the loss of Farming
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land’s
productivity during the 1990s. The table indicates the percentage of
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land
degraded in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions of the world due to the above causes.

Overall
, over-grazing has resulted in most of the
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land
degradation followed by
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deforestation
, and over-cultivation.
However
, the difference in their share of destruction is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
minute.
On the other hand
, Europe stands as the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
with North America being the least while Oceania takes up the second place.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Overgrazing has resulted in more than one third’s (35%) of the soil turning less useful, followed by
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deforestation
and
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overcultivation
accounting for 30% and 28%
respectively
. Other causes made up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7%.

To finalize, the total
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land
that lost its productivity was the highest (23%) in Europe region where
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deforestation
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
overcultivation
, and overgrazing made up 9. 8%, 7. 7% and 5. 5%
respectively
. By contrast, the same figures in case of Oceania stood at 1. 7%, 0, and 11. 3% with 13% of the
overall
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land
loosing its productivity. The least prone region was the North America with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% of its soil losing fertility which was a result of 0. 2% from
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deforestation
, 3. 3% from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Overcultivation
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
1. 5% from overgrazing.
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IELTS academic deforestation, over-grazing, over-cultivation, and others

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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