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ow many people went to watch the variety of live sport matches from 2005 to 2015.

ow many people went to watch the variety of live sport matches from 2005 to 2015. W8DE5
The information provided in the bar chart is concerning how many people went to watch the variety of live sport matches from 2005 to 2015. Overall, it can be seen clearly that the majority of watching live matches was football whereas swimming was the least favored sports event during the given period. According to the data, the population’s preference in cycling and golf registered downward trends throughout the period. The percentage of sport watchers increased from nearly 13% to 16% in the first 5 years, before hitting the lowest at 11% however this figure ranked the second in the list. The latter underwent a slight decrease from 4% in 2005 to 3% in 2010 which shared an equal figure for 2015. The rest of types of sport were witness a rose. The modest 2% of watchers in swimming over a first decade of period, followed by a slight growth of 3% in 2015. In addition, the proportion of watching tennis underwent a considerable fluctuation, starting at 13% in 2005, the number of watchers went up by approximately 4% over the next decades. Finally, the percentage of people watching football and basketball have the same patterns which steadily increase over each period, to be precise, from exactly 20% to 24% in the former and 8% to 10% in the latter.
The information provided in the bar chart
The verb 'concerning' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is concerning
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
went to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
matches from 2005 to 2015.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
clearly
that the majority of watching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
matches was football whereas swimming was the least favored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

According to the data, the population’s preference in cycling and golf registered downward trends throughout the period. The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
watchers increased from
nearly
13% to 16% in the
first
5 years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
hitting the lowest at 11%
however
this figure ranked the second in the list. The latter underwent a slight decrease from 4% in 2005 to 3% in 2010 which shared an equal figure for 2015.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
rest of types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
witness a rose.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
modest 2% of watchers in swimming over a
first
decade of period, followed by a slight growth of 3% in 2015.
In addition
, the proportion of watching tennis underwent a considerable fluctuation, starting at 13% in 2005, the number of watchers went up by approximately 4% over the
next
decades.
Finally
, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
watching football and basketball have the same patterns which
steadily
increase over each period, to be precise, from exactly 20% to 24% in the former and 8% to 10% in the latter.
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IELTS academic ow many people went to watch the variety of live sport matches from 2005 to 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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