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Overpopulation in urban areas leads to numerous problem. Write it's causes and solutions

Overpopulation in urban areas leads to numerous problem. Write it's causes and solutions kLGGe
To start with, Rapidly increasing population in cities leads to lots of problems. First of all, Because of the lots of vehicle on the road creating massive congestion which responsible for the accidents and delaying commute to workplace. Secondly, "Cut throat competition", there are limited jobs available in the cities which leads to unemployment and most of the people are trying to achieve these job but not able to tackle. To recommended some ways by which government can solve this problem by spreading awareness among people to prefer public transport rather then personal car(vehicle). Which can control the environmental pollution as well as reduce the traffic in the cities. In addition government should increase job opportunity else people become self employed and allocate job to others. To identify, the solution should implement to overcome the problems which are being happening like traffic and unemployment.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
Rapidly
increasing population in cities leads to lots of problems.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the
Possible agreement error. The noun vehicle seems to be countable; consider using: "lots of vehicles".
lots of vehicle
on the road creating massive congestion which responsible for the accidents and delaying commute to workplace.
Secondly
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
'Cut throat' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "Cut-throat".
Cut throat
competition
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, there
are limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
available in the cities which leads to unemployment and most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are trying to achieve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not able to tackle.
Did you mean "To recommend"?
To recommended
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways by which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can solve this problem by spreading awareness among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to prefer public transport
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
personal car(vehicle). Which can control the environmental pollution
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic in the cities. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity else
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self employed
and allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to others. To identify, the solution should implement to overcome the problems which are being happening like traffic and unemployment.
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IELTS academic Overpopulation in urban areas leads to numerous problem. Write it's causes and solutions

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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