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Overall, it is an eight stage, man-made, and linear process, commencing from

Overall, it is an eight stage, man-made, and linear process, commencing from DqoB6
Overall, it is an eight stage, man-made, and linear process, commencing from harvesting sugar canes from its plants and culminating with delivering ready-made to supermarkets, by using sugar canes and related equipment and tools. First of all, sugarcanes growing in tropical regions are harvested from the plants. Secondly, a juice is collected by crushing harvested sugarcanes using milling, and from this, in order to collect raw sugar, those collected juice is filtered; then, the raw sugar is shipped to Germany. Subsequently, in the Germany, the raw sugar is purified in ways of melting and filtering. After that, the sugar syrup is taken out from melted and filtered sugar syrup. In the next stage, it is crystalized before sugar crystals are dried. Now that, the sugars are packaged to be delivered to supermarkets and restaurants.
Overall
, it is an eight stage,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made, and linear process, commencing from harvesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
canes from its plants and culminating with delivering ready-made to supermarkets, by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
canes and related equipment and tools.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
sugarcanes
growing in tropical regions
are harvested
from the plants.
Secondly
, a juice
is collected
by crushing harvested
Possible spelling mistake found.
sugarcanes
using milling, and from this, in order to collect raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
, those collected juice
is filtered
; then, the raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is shipped
to Germany.

Subsequently
, in the Germany, the raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is purified
in ways of melting and filtering. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
syrup
is taken
out from melted and filtered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
syrup. In the
next
stage, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
crystalized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
crystals
are dried
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugars
are packaged
to
be delivered
to supermarkets and restaurants.
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IELTS academic Overall, it is an eight stage, man-made, and linear process, commencing from

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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